Short Shrift is the fifth chapter of The Phantom Tollbooth.
Characters[]
- Milo
- Tock
- The Spelling Bee
- The Humbug
- Officer Short Shrift (debut)
- Faintly Macabre the Not-So-Wicked Which (debut)
Plot[]
When the dust from the Humbug's disastrous clumsiness settles, all the words are out of order and the merchants begin hollering in mixed-up nonsense because their words have been jumbled. Eventually, they right the stalls and sweep up the spilled words, but the Spelling Bee rushes off just as Officer Short Shrift, Dictionopolis' single police officer, arrives on the scene. Milo is surprised by how short the policeman is, noticing that he is twice as wide as he is tall. The policeman analyzes everything, and as he's assessing the situation, the Humbug steps forward and accidentally blames it all on Milo. Officer Shrift accuses Milo of several confusing things that have nothing to do with the collapse of the marketplace, none of which are actually Milo's fault. He tries to think on his feet, saying that as a policeman, Officer Shrift can't judge him or determine his punishment, for that would be the job of a judge and a jury. But Officer Shrift explains that he has the power to do both those things. The policeman pronounces a sentence of six million years in prison, and since Tock was caught up in everything, he'll have to go to prison, too. Officer Shrift escorts Milo and Tock to a dank and musty dungeon and tells them they'll be locked up with a witch. Then he shuts them into a cell and leaves. Feeling upset, Milo makes a vow to be better at English. Finally, the witch, who's in the cell with them, introduces herself. She says her name is Faintly Macabre and that she isn't a witch, but rather, a "Which". She used to have an important job in Dictionopolis helping people decide which words were appropriate for which occasions. Unfortunately, she got too full of herself and hoarded the words because she noticed how frightfully wasteful people were with their words, often using too many for the simplest statements. She encouraged other people not to use words at all. Because Dictionopolis makes money from selling words, she nearly destroyed the country's economy. Because of this, King Azaz, her great-grandnephew, put her in jail for life, and let other people start deciding which words they wanted to use whenever they wanted. She gives Milo and Tock each a snack – punctuation marks, which taste like candy. Milo is inspired to free the Which, but she says that there's only one specific thing that will take care of that. Rhyme and Reason have to come back to Dictionopolis. When Milo asks why, Faintly Macabre says it's a whole "story".
Chapter Guide[]
< Confusion in the Market Place (Chapter 4) | Faintly Macabre's Story (Chapter 6)>